


Never Cross a Demon

by CaptainLokii



Series: Beautiful Angels and their besotted demons [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Protectiveness, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLokii/pseuds/CaptainLokii
Summary: Crowley is furious that Gabriel had mocked his Angels weight and goes out for revenge for his beloveds hurt feelings in the most Crowley way possible.





	Never Cross a Demon

He was going to have that pompous bastard pay for what he'd done. 

He had never in all his years of knowing him ever seen Aziraphale self conscious. Not until that bastard angel came along and put ideas in his head that he wasn't good enough because he wasn't some overly muscled brute. 

It had been a few months since Aziraphale had asked him if he thought he was fat and he'd spent every second he wasn't basking in his Angels beauty plotting how to get revenge for hurting his love. 

It had to be something that wouldn't upset Aziraphale so nothing that would cause the Angel pain or any long term harm. Also nothing that could be mistaken for anything other than demonic intervention. 

He couldn't tell Aziraphale what he was going to do either it would only make him feel guilty. The angel kept telling him that things were okay now and he didn't think about that bastards comments any more but he caught him sometimes looking in the mirror or tugging at his waist coat or jacket and it just wouldn't do. He did everything he could without using actual magic to convince Aziraphale that he was the most beautiful of all Gods creations but he wouldn't hear it. 

He'd tried to move things forward in their new relationship in a way that he knew wasn't typical of either of their species but having been on earth so long he'd dabbled here and there and found it all together a rather pleasing affair and wanted to share it with Aziraphale but when he'd so much as tried to remove his bow tie the angel had got flustered and pulled away making excuses to leave and blipped out of existence. He'd followed him the last time when he realised he was just going back to his book shop or another room if they were at his place and found his beloved angel sitting in his little battered arm chair he loved so dearly with his knee's held tight to his chest and was crying into them. His blood had boiled and he wanted to make himself known and reach out and hold the crying man and take all his anguish away but he knew that letting Aziraphale know he'd seen him like that would only make him more ashamed. He supposed it was the one negative angelic quality Aziraphale had left that he just couldn't bare to be seen as weak by others so instead of talking when he was sad he hid away and beat himself up over it. 

“Stupid angel” he'd heard Aziraphale say to himself “To think he could ever truly love you. How could you let yourself be so foolish” he'd sobbed. And that was it. Then he knew that even if he couldn't kill Gabriel he was going to inconvenience him for the rest of time. 

So that was how he found himself now back at his home drawing sigils on the floor to summon that disgusting creature and trap him there so he could give him a piece of his mind. He had originally planned out a grand speech that he hoped would have the feather headed bastard quake in his designer shoes but had thrown it out instead for raw emotion as he drew the final sigil on the floor and stood back to watch and wait. 

~~

He waited for about an hour before taking perch on his elegant black leather chair when Gabriel finally showed up. 

“What is the meaning of this Demon?” The git said the moment he saw him standing there. By all that is unholy he wanted to claw the bastards eyes out of his smug face for what he'd done. 

“You pompous git. You sit up in your cloud with your harps and horns and high and mighty bullshit but you're no different from those of us in hell. If anything you are worse. You claim you are the doers of all that is good in the universe yet you cause more trouble and pain and heartbreak than any demon ever has. Do you not think of the consequences of your actions? The people they hurt?” he growled digging his nails into the leather chair to stop himself from pouncing on the man. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes “What are you wittering on about demon scum some of us have work to do.” He made to vanish back to heaven but he quickly snapped his fingers and hell fire encircled him. “What is the meaning of this? You will be punished severely if any harm comes to me” The angel was starting to sweat now from more than just the heat of the flames. 

“Oh I'm not going to hurt you. Not now anyway. I'm going to give you a chance first a chance to 'repent your sins' as your lot would put it.” That's what Aziraphale would do. He always gave people a chance to seek forgiveness before he dolled out punishments. He'd seen him do it so many times. He'd always enjoyed watching the angel work whether he knew he was there or not. 

“Repent for what?” the angel flinched as the flames licked at him singing his ridiculous suit. 

“For what you did to Aziraphale. For hurting him” He got out of his chair with as much grace as he could muster in his angered state and began circling the trapped angel in what he hoped was a very threatening manner. 

“Aziraphale? I've never laid a finger on that idiot.” he scoffed “What's it to you anyway demon?” Gabriel asked looking him dead in the eye “What business is it of yours the affairs of angels of the lord?” 

“Don't you dare call him an idiot. He's far more intelligent than you ever will be bastard. Yet you mock him and hurt him for no reason other than you are a cruel git with no regards for other peoples feelings.” The temptation to just reach in through the fire and drag him balls first through it was stronger than anything he'd ever felt besides his love for a certain tiny adorable angel. 

“Oh so that's what its about” The bastard had the nerve to laugh at him “You're in love. A demon in love with an angel. Oh wait till the guys upstairs hear about this. I bet you think he loves you back to don't you? Oh how funny.” The bastard is practically cackling now so he snaps again and the flames tighten further around him. “He could never love you serpent. No matter how much you delude yourself into believing he could.” He could kill him. One more snap and the flames would engulf him and that would be the end of the Arse Angel Gabriel but then Aziraphale would fret and worry himself over repercussions and would make the whole situation worse. No he had to stick to his original plan. 

“I don't care what you think of me or us Bastard. All I care about is that you apologise for hurting him. Apologise and you live. Fail to do so and I will make your life very very hard indeed” he said through gritted teeth still fighting the temptation to snap. 

“Why would I apologise for something you won't even tell me the reason?” 

“You called him fat. Told him he needed to 'lose the gut'. He now thinks he's not good enough to be an angel and its all your fault. Tell him you were wrong and say sorry.” he hissed his serpentine eyes flashing wickedly. 

“Is that what this is all about? Foolish demon you really have fallen in every sense of the word. I will not apologise for calling that oaf fat. He could do with losing more than a few pounds and even then he still wouldn't be good enough to regain his rank in heaven. Consorting with a Demon. God will be hearing about this and I highly doubt she will be pleased. Release me at once scum or Heavens wrath will rain down upon you.” 

“Oh you can go Bastard. Enjoy yourself won't you” he said with a smirk and clicked his fingers once more and the flames vanished without so much as a scorch mark and the angelic bastard was banished from his home. “Enjoy yourself indeed” His plan was in motion he only wished he was going to be able to see the effects it had. 

~~

It's only a few hours later he gets a phone call of Aziraphale asking him to tea telling him he has something he needs to ask him. He sounds rather stressed over the phone so he doesn't do his usual of being fashionably late and instead arrives a few minutes early and still his angel was waiting at the door for him with a shy grin and a glass of red wine whilst he himself held a steaming mug of cocoa with exactly five marshmallows in as was usual. 

“Good evening Crowley” he said blushing still when he leant in to kiss him gently. “I've heard some rather worrying news from Heaven” he said gesturing for him to take a seat on the sofa beside him. 

“Oh?” he replied with the best attempt at innocence he could muster. 

“It seems Gabriel has come over with some sort of illness and has been behaving rather strangely.” 

“What a shame” he said, the faintest of smirks spreading to the corner of his mouth. 

“It seems whenever he tries to use his powers he starts quacking and waddling like a duck and whenever God is mentioned or he has to speak to her he keeps singing about something called a ning nang nong and all these animals making funny noises quite unusual for their kind. No one has been able to cure him of this strange illness.” Aziraphale was smiling shyly now as he looked down at the mug held tightly in both hands in his lap. “I just wanted to say...Thank you Crowley...” he blushed a deep crimson as he said it. 

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean Angel” he gave him his most charming smile “But I'm sure whatever this strange illness is it will wear off in a week or so...a month at most...” 

“Oh Crowley” the angel said with tears in his eyes now. 

“Come here you big softy” he pulled the angel down till he lay comfortably against his chest “I couldn't just stand by and let that bastard get away with hurting you. I even didn't hurt him because I knew you wouldn't like that even though I wanted to fry his bollocks in hell fire.” 

“You still shouldn't have done it I'm not worth all this trouble. I'm just being a silly old fool and you know it.” 

“A silly old fool you may be but that doesn't mean you can't be hurt by cruel words and actions. I've seen the effect its had on you Angel and I don't like it. I won't stop until you believe you are as beautiful as you truly are. I might be a creature of dishonesty but I wouldn't lie to you. Not now not ever do you understand me? You mean far to much to me for that.” 

Aziraphale sniffed and wiped at his eyes as he curled up further into his side his cocoa now forgotten on the table. “You know for a demon you really are awfully angelic in your ways”

“Shut up” he laughed poking the smaller man in the side making him giggle uncontrollably like he always did. It was one of his favourite things he'd discovered about the man since they confessed their love. He was the most ticklish creature in all of creation. 

“Stop! Crowley stop! Oh my clothes will get all wrinkled!” the angel cried as he howled with laughter rolling around in his lap trying to escape the now full on assault of tickles. 

“Never! Not until you say you're beautiful!” 

“You're beautiful!” he cried the good kind of tears streaming down his face now. 

“Not me you idiot. You! Say YOU are beautiful” 

“Oh no Crowley I couldn't! Please stop! Or...or I shan't kiss you tonight...” he stopped immediately 

“You play a cruel game Angel. Threatening to take away my kisses.” he said attempting to imitate the angels pout which always got him his own way. 

“Oh you know I could never really withhold kisses from you Crowley dear... I'd miss them to much.” Aziraphale said smiling up at him from where he lay now completely in his lap cheeks red from laughter. 

“Well I will just have to hold you to that” he said leaning down and kissing his beautiful angel softly. 

Aziraphale blushed and rolled over so he could get comfortable and in the perfect position for him to run his fingers through his blonde curls. An action he'd quickly found managed to make the angel practically purr till he eventually got so relaxed he fell asleep. He could never stop himself from watching the angel sleep where he looked so peaceful and beautiful just calmly dreaming away. 

Sometimes if the angel smiled particularly brightly in his sleep he would join him in his dreams just to see what had made his beloved so happy. 

Tonight though he was content to just watched the beautiful creation before him sleep soundly knowing that one day he would see how beautiful he truly was if it was the last thing he ever did.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Crowley has Gabriel sing is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD-yG2XnxpU
> 
> comments kudos and shares always appreciated


End file.
